10 years ago

As I watch Parker and Macy grow, I'm still shocked by what it would mean to have our oldest with us.  Lauran would be celebrating her 10th birthday today.  Both Tony and I have been changed by her short life, and we hope it has all been for the better.  Throughout the whole pregnancy with two months of hospitalized bed rest and 53 days, we learned countless lessons and came to deeper understandings.  But these two lessons are closet to my heart today.

A few days ago, a woman was on the news.  Her husband and herself survived the tornado devastation by cowering in the bathtub.  The only part of her house that was left was the bathroom they were in.  She explained the only reason they survived was that God was them.  I agree.  But he was also with the people who died down the street.  I believe death comes when we have served our divine purpose.  We're all here for different reasons. Some are great, noble purposes that make the 10 o'clock news.  Others are here for a  equally great, noble purposes that impact only a small circle.  I think some people spend their whole lives looking for a greater meaning when what we all are here for is really the same reason.  We're here to find God and trade a life of selfishness for a life of love and service.  It is out of love that we change the world for those who matter to us.  Lauran didn't really do anything.  She never sat up, walked, or cooed.  But her life had a purpose.  Her life changed us and we hope maybe she changed those who came to know her.

I was offered a "termination" at my 18 weeks ultrasound appointment. Since a problem with her kidneys had been detected and at the time that was all, the medical community felt a responsibility to inform us about every possible birth defect, the characteristics, and ultimate death.  Abortion wasn't even a consideration for us.  If you are reading this and have had an abortion, I am so very sorry.  I can only imagine the complete hopelessness and defeat you felt.  After Lauran died, the very next morning, we made a decision that I believe changed our very course. No matter how hard it would be, every day we would choose life.  Choosing life doesn't just happen in the doctor's office or the local planned parenthood.  It's a daily practice, and I hope you can see beyond your to do list, bills, work, and everything else that gets in the way of your joy. We can go our whole lives and never see our purpose revealed.  But if we choose to live and treat others like time with them is a gift, then we trust our purpose will be revealed when we have reached our final destination.

Acts of Kindness Update

I love making my birthday last and last and last....Congratulations to Laura Picker for winning the Target gift card!  I am so happy to share that she is passng on the gift card to a college student - which just goes to show Laura is a kinder person than I am! :)  I can always find something at Target!
The next act of kindness goes to my coworker, Amy.  She is expecting a brother for Ava at the end of the March.  I'm doing her recess duty until she goes on maternity leave.  My brother wanted to know which act of kindness he could expect.  I told him for once I don't have a plan.  I'm just waiting for the spirit to move me.  Stayed tune because I do have plans for #3 and #4. :)

Rule of thumb

Whenever one of our babes is sick, Tony and I have different responses. The fever has just started.  "Let's call the doctor."  "It hasn't even been 24 hours yet.  It's probably viral."  Fast forward 24 hours.  "Are you ready to call the doctor?"  "He's fine on ibprofen. Do you really need to pay a copay to hear come back in three days if the fever hasn't gone away?" 48 hours later.  "I really think we should at least call and check in."  "He has a fever and runny nose.  It's only been 2 days.  Remember what the doctor said...call after 4 days of fever."  "Yes, but our children always manage to make the fourth day on the weekend."  72 hours later.  "He still has a fever. What if it isn't viral and he needs meds?"  "What color is his snot?"  "Clear"  "Wait one more day."  96 hours later. "Mom, what can I eat?  What's the plan for today? Are we going anywhere?" Fever free.

38 and feelin' great!

I am so excited that my birthday is finally here!  And not for the reasons you think - yummy food, presents, and good times!  I love those too, but drumroll please......Today starts my 38 acts of kindness!  I saw this idea out of the corner of my eye on pinterest & didn't have time to pursue it.  Since then I have been dreaming big & decided to follow my own guidelines.  Here they are: 1) only half of the acts can involve money, 2) there is no time limit except they have to be completed before I turn 39! :)  I am going to share my 38 acts here. Not because I want to brag or make you feel icky-sweet, but because I truly believe the more the merrier!

My first act of kindness is for you!

Leave a comment with an act of kindness suggestion by midnight on Friday, and you will be entered to win a $20 Target gift card!  See, I told you this would be fun!  The winner will be randomly selected and announced Saturday morning!  I can't wait to hear your ideas! :)

What we're eating next week...

I had to pick up the pace this week since tomorrow is Shop N Save's 10 off 50.  It's a little crazy in there, but if you love grocery shopping and saving money, it's like a little game of one-on-one.  I'm just thankful that Tony doesn't like it so he would rather stay home with the kids.  Grab a Diet Coke and it's almost like a party!

Saturday
Pork Chops with Wine and Garlic Sauce, Mashed Potatoes, Cheesy Cauliflower, Strawberry Cake

Sunday
Paula Deen's Roast, leftover Mashed Potatoes (that recipe makes a ton), Green Beans, and rolls

Monday
Mandarin Orange Chicken, Egg Rolls, and Pot Stickers (all compliments of Trader Joes)

Tuesday
Slow Cooker Fettuccine, garlic bread (moved from last week due to an abundance of leftovers & pulling a late night at school)*

Wednesday
Homemade Pizza (best pizza dough is at Trader Joes)

Thursday
Ham N Beans, cornbread

Friday
Crockpot Chicken Tacos*, salsa & chips

*New recipe -  I try to plan one a week. Then everyone rates it as a keeper or votes to dump it.

For My Valentine

Love is patient.  You are the most patient man operating on average of 3.5 hours of sleep Monday through Friday.  Love is kind.  Thank you for setting up the coffee every morning.  I know I could do it, but it tastes better when you make it.  It does not envy.  You are always happy to be where we are. Rich or poor.  For better or worse.  It does not boast.  You can listen to someone else's story without having to top it.  It is not proud.  You're friends with a variety of people, from all walks, and you treat them all the same.  It is not rude.  You model good manners every day for Parker and Macy.  It is not self-seeking.  I have never seen you do anything out of selfish ambition.  It is not easily angered.  I can get carried away with the passion of my emotions.  You remain calm.   It keeps no record of wrongs.  You have never reminded me of my mistakes.  Not once.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  You've shared the truth with countless coworkers.  It always protects.  You shelter me from toxic people.  It always trust.  When we have not known where our choices were taking us, you always trusted that where we ended up was where we were suppose to be.  It always hopes.  After Lauran died, I couldn't even think about trying again.  You never lost hope for having a healthy baby.  I'm so very glad you didn't.  It always perseveres.  You've had dreams that didn't come to pass, but you've always moved forward without bitterness.  Love never fails...And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love.  But the greatest of these is love.  

Keepin' It Real

This post is dedicated to Jenny and Heather who would hire me to do their menu plan and grocery shopping. :)
If you are one of my uber ogranized friends, STOP reading NOW!  You know who you are!
Anyway, at church today, I realized I may have given a false impression of my level of organization.  I try, but as Heather summarized my status as an "organized mess", I don't always achieve my organizational dreams.  I like to think of myself as a work in progress...

My Closet since P/T Conference Weekend

I was tired of pulling a muscle every time I needed to reach my clothes.  Plus, Tony and Parker were gone for the afternoon to a birthday party....Cleaning out my closet would be a great mother/daughter activity.  Macy was all for it since she had contributed to a lot of the dumping in there. 

Halfway through the project, I realized that with Macy's idea of *help* and her need for a play break every 20 minutes, this project was going to take more than a couple of hours.  I also decided that reorganizing the top shelf would have to wait...probably until Spring Break. 

I also realized that I am only a third of the way done...I heart organizing says that clothes should be arranged by color...That probably won't happen until I switch out my winter clothes for summer.