Saturday, March 17, 2012
Saturday Night Struggles
For my friends who don't have a church family, you can skip this post...For my friends who do, maybe you can understand where I am coming from. When we moved to St. Louis, we knew no one. Walking into a building that bore the name of the church that we grew up with, we felt at home. We may have not known the name of a single person, but we knew the songs, felt the prayers, and could connect with the message. Thirteen years later, our church family is our second family. Our church family has gone through a remarriage which has caused a lot of discussion and departures. Every time I walk through the doors, I am missing someone. The sense of loss is great. I am trying to move on, meet new people, and smile at the visitors. Nevertheless, I really want to shout at the top of my lungs "What is the matter with everyone? Why isn't there room for everyone at the table? When will my neighbor's need matter more than mine?". I am not a good pretender. My friends have told me that they want the whole ordeal to be put behind them. I do too, but I don't know how. I don't know how to get rid of this feeling of dread on Saturday nights. I don't know how to let go of those friends who have chosen to move on. I. just. don't. know.
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6 comments:
Karl and I were JUST talking about this at dinner tonight when we ran into one of the members who left the church in the merger. We talked about how much we missed him and his family and how different things are. I think a lot of people are struggling, I'm with you. Nothing feels the same right now and I'm missing so many. I don't understand all the drama, it just seems so silly and yet so sad.
Agreed, on all counts. It's so hard to think of all the friends that have moved on. We're just praying that new groups/friendships form to help navigate through all of the changes. Love both of you ladies!!
When the Lord told Abram to pack up and leave Ur, I suspect that he and Sarah felt the way you described. I can imagine their fears...leave their friends, neighbors and families? Leave the buildings of their civilization and live in a tent for the rest of your life in a foreign land. But, they did it by faith and we are connected this day by their legacy. We are all on a journey of faith. And, the difficult part of faith is when we discover that is is not about "us". It is always about God. I appreciate so much your honesty in sharing your feelings. And, I want you to know that I understand what you are saying. But, please know that we are trying, to the best of our ability, to do something for the kingdom because we hear God calling us to be more than we have been in the past. We want everyone to be united in that calling. Please know that we love and appreciate every person and especially those who are the household of faith. The journey can be hard; but, the rewards are eternal and so worth it!
Dread. Amen. I feel it on Saturday night and on Sunday morning. And I try to hide it from the girls. We are having a really hard time staying and an even harder time figuring out how to go.
Your at a great point in your relationship with God. the grieving in your heart is also the grieving of the Holy Spirit living withen you. Knowing that YOUR God is living in you, and is active, and knows the desires of your heart, you can open the door to God's heart.God will direct your steps to make a difference in His Kingdom. Knowing what you feel is God's Spirit..rejoice..He cannot deny Himself..you are His and He is yours, how cool is that? it does not get better ,till the day we see Jesus face to face. sorry ,for the preachiness. i believe God shows us what grieves
Him..so we don't grieve Him in our lives. He is saying ,there is something better that what you see,walk with me..trust me , and in time I will show you. Abraham did not see the full impact of His faith in His natural life..little did He know His faith, would lead to the sa;lvation of the world! As a father I am proud of your honest heart..and love for God. I fear for Shepherds who witness the flock scattering..the true sheperd, laid down his life. We as humans, often times fall short letting people know how much we care for them, and how valuable they are to God's family.-+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
All I can day to that is you bring up some very valid points. Feelings that many have felt but had no courage to raise awareness. I know you have a humble and pure heart. If more could look at others and situations the world would be a better place. The church should not be causing any turmoil when there is an outside world ready to tear believers apart. Stand fast in your belief and be not deceived.
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