Sunday, September 16, 2012

Honestly Speaking

I love listening to people's stories and I am constantly asking questions about how these stories came to be.  Sometimes these stories are happy tales of love and devotion and sometimes these stories are full of heartache and shame.  Lately, the stories have had a common theme - honesty or lack there of.  

I know that all of us - me included - want to present the very best picture of ourselves to the world.  Good hair days, matching accessories, and if we're really lucky, wearing our skinny jeans.  We want to be viewed as having it all together.  This is the picture that we rush to publish on Facebook.

For all of us, the truth is not that pretty.  The truth is husbands cheat.  The truth is other wives question if that can happen to my good friend who is beautiful, kind, and caring, can that happen to me? 

The truth is we can't handle telling the truth.  We'll talk to our girlfriends before we'll talk to our husbands.  We'll talk about our girlfriends to other girlfriends before we ever speak the truth to our girlfriends. Ironically, speaking and hearing the truth hurts.  

But we have to speak it.  Otherwise, our stories will be full of betrayal.  If you can speak it to your girlfriend, then speak it to your husband.  Husbands, speak the truth.  We're big girls.  It may hurt to hear it but we can take it.  I used to believe that the blame for marriages falling apart could always be spread around.  Not anymore.  The blame lies with the one who quits speaking the truth.  

So say what you have to say.  Stand behind it.  Own it.  Should you choose to remain silent, then that burden belongs to you and only you. 

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