Monday, April 16, 2012

My Boy

It's a misty-eyed mommy moment...Parker had his first baseball game tonight.  He played second base.  I didn't  think I would be one of those moms...always yelling witty bits of encouragement and clapping loudly.  Obviously, I have no problems with self-delusional thoughts.  I was that Mom!!! "Go Parker! Look Alive!  Touch the base!  Go WILDCATS! Good effort! Hustle up!"  I had to apologize to the people behind us.  "I'm sorry! I didn't know it would be this intense!"  

Since it was his first game, Parker made his share of mistakes.  But what melted my heart  was that after each mistake, I would see this sweet face of disappointment look to the stands and make eye contact.  Silently asking me if it is alright.  I'd respond with more loud clapping and another bit of my vast baseball wisdom.  "Defense!" or something else equally motivating.  Tony had up to this time been the intense one with Parker at practice.  I had been the laid back one - "It's just little league, honey."  Tonight, I was the lion, and he was the kitten.  As I helpfully pointed out to Parker what to try next time during his team at-bats, Tony had to remind me that he is just learning and sometimes real life is the best teacher.
Tony might of as well thrown cold water on me!  We are taking another step in Parker's life of letting go and letting him do.  If it is this scary at a little league game, how much more scary will his first day of  middle school be? Driving? His first date? Lord help me, dropping him off at his dorm?

With each birthday, I count off one less year to hold my babies. And although my friends with older children tell me it happens before they turn 18, I can't imagine it.  How on earth will he have learned everything he needs to know?  He won't, and I think that was what Tony was trying to gently tell me - get out of his way and let life be the teacher.  Stay in the stands.  He'll look for you if he needs you. 

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