As I watch Parker and Macy grow, I'm still shocked by what it would mean to have our oldest with us. Lauran would be celebrating her 10th birthday today. Both Tony and I have been changed by her short life, and we hope it has all been for the better. Throughout the whole pregnancy with two months of hospitalized bed rest and 53 days, we learned countless lessons and came to deeper understandings. But these two lessons are closet to my heart today.
A few days ago, a woman was on the news. Her husband and herself survived the tornado devastation by cowering in the bathtub. The only part of her house that was left was the bathroom they were in. She explained the only reason they survived was that God was them. I agree. But he was also with the people who died down the street. I believe death comes when we have served our divine purpose. We're all here for different reasons. Some are great, noble purposes that make the 10 o'clock news. Others are here for a equally great, noble purposes that impact only a small circle. I think some people spend their whole lives looking for a greater meaning when what we all are here for is really the same reason. We're here to find God and trade a life of selfishness for a life of love and service. It is out of love that we change the world for those who matter to us. Lauran didn't really do anything. She never sat up, walked, or cooed. But her life had a purpose. Her life changed us and we hope maybe she changed those who came to know her.
I was offered a "termination" at my 18 weeks ultrasound appointment. Since a problem with her kidneys had been detected and at the time that was all, the medical community felt a responsibility to inform us about every possible birth defect, the characteristics, and ultimate death. Abortion wasn't even a consideration for us. If you are reading this and have had an abortion, I am so very sorry. I can only imagine the complete hopelessness and defeat you felt. After Lauran died, the very next morning, we made a decision that I believe changed our very course. No matter how hard it would be, every day we would choose life. Choosing life doesn't just happen in the doctor's office or the local planned parenthood. It's a daily practice, and I hope you can see beyond your to do list, bills, work, and everything else that gets in the way of your joy. We can go our whole lives and never see our purpose revealed. But if we choose to live and treat others like time with them is a gift, then we trust our purpose will be revealed when we have reached our final destination.